So they often find themselves cornered in a small area, too close to other kids. As a reflex, they try to hit or claw or bite their way out. The way you react to your child's lashing out is the key to nipping it in the bud.
Hitting hurts. The more you engage your child in discussion, the more attention she gets from being aggressive. If he hits again, remove him from the situation and put him in a one-minute time-out , suggests Dr. Pinpoint the reason. Pinpointing the reason why your toddler is upset can be tough at this age: Is she hitting because she's annoyed she can't find her favorite toy?
Or does she want a snack? Help her put words to her gestures. If she slaps at the sippy cup of juice because it's not what she wants, for example, respond, "You want milk! Say, 'milk.
Prevent a hitting incident. Observe what spurs your child to smack, slap, or punch, and then act preemptively. Make sure he takes routine naps , pack snacks if necessary, and prepare him for transitions.
If your son has hit in the past because he wanted a friend's favorite toy, for instance, ask the other child's mother to put the toy away during visits. Try not to lose it. Some kids believe that any kind of attention beats no attention at all. So if you freak out when your child does something wrong, she'll be intrigued "Wow, Mommy went crazy!
Lose your cool. Get in their face. Lecture or talk a lot. Try teaching alternative behaviors while they are still upset. Pay lots of attention to this behavior. Attention reinforces the behavior. Give an overly severe and totally unrelated consequence. Walk away briefly if needed. Model your own ability to tolerate frustration by remaining calm. If they could use another, easier and faster way to express themselves or get what they want, they would. Try to maintain a sense of humor about the absurdity of toddler logic.
If they hit or bite another child, separate the children and be sure to provide adequate supervision to prevent it from happening again. At other, calmer times Teach appropriate alternative behaviors that help them get their needs met. Also, praise them when they listen to you and stop hitting.
Encourage your child to read a book, draw a picture, take a deep breath, or go to his room when they feel angry. Teach your child about feelings, such as sadness and frustration. Discuss the importance of dealing with these feelings in appropriate ways and help your child discover strategies that help him cope with his emotions safely.
Instead of teaching self-control, spanking can increase your child's aggression. Children learn more about behavior from what they see you do, rather than what they hear you say. Model behaviors you want to see in your child. Show your child how to deal with anger, sadness, and disappointment in socially appropriate ways.
If you have an older child who hits you, or you have an especially aggressive preschooler or toddler, seek professional help. Your pediatrician may refer your child for an evaluation to help determine the cause of the aggression and a plan to address it. Sometimes underlying issues can contribute to aggression in children. For example, children with ADHD or oppositional defiant disorder are more likely to hit. At other times, children with cognitive or developmental delays may hit because they lack the ability to use their words or manage their impulses.
Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Violent Behavior in Children and Adolescents. American Academy of Pediatrics. Even worse than the pain inflicted is the worry that our once loving and compliant child may become habitually aggressive or the preschool bully. Our job is to train the child for better behavior in the future without creating a payoff that may cause the hitting and biting to continue or escalate.
Our focus should be to help the child learn positive ways to manage their big emotions. Toddlers can be unpredictable, but you can probably tell when your little one is getting frustrated or tired. If you are holding your child when he hits or bites, CALMLY put him down and gently hold his hands to prevent any more aggression.
If the child hits someone else, make sure the other child is okay while keeping yours close to you and gently remove your child from the environment so you can help him calm his emotions without the distraction of others.
Let your child know you understand her big emotions, then separate the feeling from the behavior.
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