Because she just knew that she wanted to be a mom. As she said on Reddit, "I was 22 and newly married and had just graduated, so we took the plunge and I was pregnant the first try. The kids are 4 and 8 and things have been pretty good. There was nothing else I wanted more so my husband and I decided to make it happen.
Another big reason that many people decide to have children is that they're afraid that they would regret not having kids. It's easy to say that you love your life the way that it is and don't want things to change, but you're not so sure if you'll feel the same way 10 years from now, right? As this parent posted on Reddit, "I knew the window was closing and I was afraid I would regret it the rest of my life if I didn't.
I felt like it's the most meaningful thing many people have done, and I didn't want to miss out. As this dad said on Reddit, he couldn't stop thinking about being a parent, and it seems like many people can relate to that. That's a pretty good reason to know that you're on the right path and that you really want to do something.
It's like anything else in life, from buying real estate to changing jobs: if you're preoccupied with a thought, it's a sign that you really want this. He said, "I knew I was ready when I kept fantasizing about a little girl running to the door with her arms outstretched yelling 'Daddy! Whether we're planners or we prefer to go with the flow and be more chill about things, we can all agree that having a baby is not something that couples just decide to do out of the blue.
It takes a lot of careful thinking and planning. A lot of couples will decide that it's the right time to have a baby because they come up with a practical plan, like this parent explained on Reddit : "So we decided to have kids. From there, we counted backwards from the oldest age I would be physically willing to have a baby. I want to be done before I hit That means I need to have my first kid by the time I'm 33ish. It would make things really simple if both partners were always on the same track about having a baby.
Of course, that's not always the way things work out. Sometimes both partners agree, but other times, one really wants to have a baby and the other one isn't so sure about that. That's what it was like for this mom who shared her story on Reddit. She said that although she wasn't sure about having a kid at first, her husband wanted one, and she's super happy that she decided to go for it: "Making my husband happy, I was never really maternal. In all honesty, I'm so glad I had my little one.
She is a ray of sunshine. A soon-to-be mom shared her story on Reddit and said that she and her partner realized that as she was approaching the age of 40, they wanted to start trying for a child.
She wrote, "I am We decided about 6 months ago that it was do-or-die time. I am now nine weeks pregnant. He is about to turn It seems like many parents can relate to this and did a similar thing. While there are absolutely people who are ready to become parents at 25 or even younger, that's not always the case. Many people are ready for this experience later on in life. The same pregnant woman as above who posted on Reddit continued, "I could not love this man more The only way I could love him more at this point is to have more of him to love If you're a parent, you can most likely relate to that.
It might even be the only reason you want to have a child. So if you're currently in a relationship and are thinking about having kids, this could be a good place to start. Why not create little babies that are the perfect mix of you and your partner!? A father posted on Quora that he knew and he and his wife would do a great job at this whole parenting thing. He said, "I was ready for a kid when I looked at my wife one day and thought we will make good partners to raise our own kids.
My daughter will be four years in a couple of months. It has been an emotional journey for me. It's nice to hear a dad's perspective about when they knew that it was the right time to start a family, and being confident in you and your partner's parenting abilities is not only a logical reason but also really inspiring.
Another parent posted on Quora and shed light on another important aspect of family planning: being ready in all senses of the word physically, mentally, and emotionally.
They said, "After a few weeks I found out that I was pregnant! And by now, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to welcome my munchkin!
And to achieve a trio of children, the new research indicates that women should only wait until they are 23 to start trying to become pregnant. It comes as assisted reproductive and family planning groups help teachers educate primary and secondary students about the birds, the bees and IVF.
The average age of a first time mother in Victoria is The researchers, from Erasmus University Medical Center in the Netherlands, said the latest female age that a couple should start trying to become pregnant depended on the importance of achieving their desired family size and their views on IVF. If couples would consider IVF, those wanting a one-child family could wait until the woman was 35, but 31 was the cap for two children and 28 for three children.
While the results may come as a surprise to many young couples, it may also be reassuring for those aiming for a smaller family. The ages were based on a model that combined fertility and IVF success rates for 10, couples and assumed the gap between babies was 15 months. It has partnered with Family Planning Victoria to design a fertility education guide for primary and secondary teachers.
Even if a woman is able to have a healthy child at 40, she may not be able to have as many children as she would like, as her fertility continues to decline. In addition to increasing infertility with age, the risks of older parenthood also include the parents having less energy and the grandparents having less involvement in the children's lives, Gregory says in her book.
Still, Gregory writes, waiting to have kids has plenty of benefits to weigh against the potential risks. Besides higher salaries, women who wait until they're at least 35 to have kids generally have accrued experience and clout at work that helps them create what Gregory calls a "shadow benefits system" to supplement official benefits for parents or lack thereof.
They may have lots of stored up vacation time, or may be able to negotiate more flexible work schedules or the ability to work from home, when more junior colleagues might not. In the absence of official benefits to make it easy for women to have a family while continuing to work, putting off having kids can become less like a preference and more like a necessity.
Age-related decline in fertility and the increased likelihood of miscarriages and pregnancy complications with age mean that waiting to have kids can put extra physical stress on a woman's body and her baby's — not a negligible effect. But a woman's choice to wait to have kids offers important benefits to society, too. When women establish themselves in their careers before having kids, it can have long-term positive implications for their kids and their employees, Gregory writes in her book.
Getting an education and making more money raises a woman's socioeconomic status, so a working class mother can potentially raise middle class kids if she waits to start a family. Besides increasing their own families' upward social mobility, women who delay having kids and advance to positions of authority at work then have the power to set policies they and their female employees would benefit from, like offering paid maternity and paternity leave or allowing flexible work schedules.
This "feeds a gradual transformation of the culture of work that can lead in the long run to more equitable HR policies for everybody," Gregory writes. At the level of countries, when many women wait until they're older to start having kids it can have implications for the general fertility rate, because they have fewer fertile years left in which they can have more kids. Data from the World Bank show the seven countries where the average age of women giving birth to their first child is above 30 Greece, Australia, South Korea, Japan, Italy, Switzerland, and Luxembourg, according to the CIA World Factbook all have general fertility rates below what's called the replacement rate.
That means the generation currently having kids isn't having enough to replace itself. Countries with low fertility rates have populations that are aging and set to shrink , meaning fewer people of working age have to support more older dependents. The decision to wait to have kids begins as a personal choice with personal effects, but the trend of older first-time parents is already reshaping our world in big ways.
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