Literally, wear your sneakers and start walking, even just around your neighborhood. You can only set yourself free by taking the initiative to do so. Start walking. Enjoy the sights, the traffic, the busy streets, and smile at the people you meet along the way.
The longer your mind gets preoccupied with these simple encounters, the farther you get away from those memories you have so been wanting to forget. Instead of hiding under a shell, allow yourself to be surprised, scared, and shocked.
Your brain needs this as well, as the feeling of surprise allows it to generate new brain cells and reminds you that what Cher says is true: there is life after love.
People often write about the things they recall, so that they could keep them. Rather, talk about the things you remember.
The more you discuss these recollections verbally, the lesser the details you mention, the lesser the emotions you feel, the lesser the weight you carry. Do this until such time that you could no longer recall the diner where you had your first date or how it rained when you two broke up. Her advice is indeed helpful because while the memories are mental pictures stored in the brain, physical evidence such as pictures and videos only amplifies their effects and triggers our emotions.
Thus, if you are keen on forgetting this person you love due to heartache, then it would be best to keep the visuals away for a while. When the right time comes, you can go through these items again and no longer remember the feelings that made them special. Do a survey around your room and pick out every single thing that he gave you and throw it out. Even the receipts of the first-ever movie that you saw together, take it out and chuck it down the bin!
This is your first step on your journey to moving on. Praying is an effective means to calm yourself amidst this emotional journey of getting over the person you love. This is because through praying, you get the quiet time you deserve. You also get to whisper your qualms and wishes to God, and through his divine intervention, you are able to see life from a different perspective. It is also through praying that you are able to thank love for stopping by even for just a short while.
After throwing all his gifts in the trash, open your buzzing phone and finally read those messages from last week. It may be tempting to keep those, but you will only hurt yourself further during the process. Pick your dusty paintbrushes, take up knitting, try out martial arts, or even take a Spanish class. Whatever you want to do, do it; this is your time to make yourself a better person than before.
This is also the best way to keep your mind occupied and away from the person who broke your heart. The more your time is filled, the better and easier it is for you to move on. Having a great body of course! Going over and over the past to find answers will only sap your mental energy and leave you feeling worse.
What happened is in the past, and dwelling on it isn't going to help you forget the person causing you so much heartache. You're training your mind to call up these memories too often. The more you think about what happened, the more you'll keep thinking about it. Get rid of souvenirs. It can be hard to let go of things that remind you of someone you once loved. You might have pictures, mementos, letters, and other items that were given to you by the person you can't forget.
Bringing yourself to put the stuff away, no matter how hard it is to do so, is a positive step in the right direction. If you're surrounded by reminders of the person, how can you be expected to forget?
The best thing to do is throw everything away. Donate it, recycle it, or burn it if you can. If you can't bring yourself to do so, you can put it all in a nondescript box and stow it in the far recesses of your closet.
However, having it around could tempt you to peek inside from time to time, which can set you back in your efforts to forget. Take away the pedestal. Many of us have a tendency to let the passage of time erase a person's flaws. Maybe you've forgotten all the fights you had with your ex, and all you can remember is how beautiful her hair looked when you walked together in the sun, and how good it felt to be with each other each night when the evening came to a close.
You might think you'll never have that feeling again, and that your ex is the one who got away. If you're going to forget her, you need to take away the pedestal you've put her on and remember things the way they really were. Try writing down all the reasons the relationship ended, whether it was a friendship, a romantic relationship or something else entirely.
Be completely honest. It doesn't have to be a laundry list of the person's negative traits. There are many good reasons for a relationship to end. Be confident you can forget. If the memory of the person you're trying to forget has been haunting you for awhile now, you may think you'll never get past it. People say "time heals all wounds," so why hasn't yours healed yet? It will. By reading this article and taking steps to change the way you think, you're taking the right steps.
It's not going to happen overnight, but you will eventually move on. You can't completely erase someone from your brain, but you can definitely get rid of their hold on your emotions, and you're already on your way. Part 2. Learn how to be in the moment. When your thoughts are constantly turning toward what might have been, it's hard to pay attention to what's happening right now.
But when you notice what's happening and engage with the present, there's no room in your mind for past memories and worries. The practice of focusing on the present moment is called mindfulness, and it can really help. Pay attention to how your body feels, and be attuned to your immediate surroundings. Turn your thoughts to what is happening right now - your feet walking across pavement, the breeze on your cheek, a person's laughter skipping across the wind.
Refocus each time a memory threatens to consume you. Ground yourself. You simply can't go back and change things, no matter how much you want to.
As painful as it is to realize that, reminding yourself often can help you forget. You do not need mental strength to forget someone.
Instead you simply need to know how to correctly focus your mind. To make an analogy, imagine a sailor at sea with no training on how to use the sail. The wind would knock the sailing boat around and leave the sailor completely confused.
Now imagine that the sailor was trained in how to operate the sail. Like the sailor, right now you need to make sure you are not using the sail incorrectly or pointing it in the wrong direction. You just need to know the correct way of doing them:. And do these cause you to remember your ex from time to time during the day? You can hold memories of this person dear in your heart.
However, they shouldn't be something that interferes with your life. They should be a source of gentle tenderness and nostalgia — like thoughts of a beloved relative who has long since passed away. You cannot completely "get rid of their memories. Get busy, get out of the house, visit with friends, and don't get involved too quickly. Not Helpful 30 Helpful It is perhaps most difficult to get over a person you have a child with because you cannot just not see them.
But you can minimize contact and get creative with the ways you do the drop-offs. Not Helpful 42 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Don't fall prey to the myth of "The One" — the idea that there is exactly one perfect person for you out there. This is deeply unrealistic. There are many suitable people for everyone. None are perfect — all of them flawed in some way.
The one that broke your heart isn't the only one out there for you. You will find that next one and perhaps the one after that and love them too. Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0. Although "forgetting" your ex may sound like a good remedy for the pain, you don't necessarily want to forget everything you learned from the relationship. Whether you like it or not, the relationship is part of the fabric that makes you who you are today.
Try to learn from what did and didn't work in your relationship so that your next one is an improvement. If you just can't seem to start feeling better and it's been a month or so, you may have a case of depression. Talk to a doctor or therapist — there's nothing wrong with getting the help you need.
Remember that if you truly love someone you would want to see them happy even if it wasn't with you. That's what love is, their happiness matters the most. So you live your life and move on. Related wikiHows How to. How to. About This Article. Co-authored by:. Co-authors: Updated: October 27, Article Summary X If you want to forget the one you loved deeply, throw away things that remind you of them, such as gifts they gave you or possessions they left behind.
Nederlands: Iemand loslaten waar je heel veel van hebt gehouden. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,, times. Reader Success Stories ismail khalid mangalathel Jun 10, More reader stories Hide reader stories.
Did this article help you? Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Jemay Leo Aug 3. It's hard to stop loving someone, but thank you for this helpful guide. Alistair Harris May 1, It had been a couple days after I broke with my girlfriend when I started to get depressed and couldn't stop thinking about her. She cheated on me.
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